Apr 29

Labour Day 2011 – 50 things you would love to say out loud at work…

Autor: PersonalRadar

  1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit

  2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce
  3. How about never? Is never good for you?
  4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
  5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way
  6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
  7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message
  8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant
  9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying
  10. Ahhhh. I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again
  11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid
  12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers
  13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a shit
  14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth
  15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
  16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view
  17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist
  18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental
  19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
  20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant
  21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off
  22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial
  23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
  24. Do I look like a fucking people person to you?
  25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting
  26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left
  27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer
  28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed
  30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed
  31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different…
  32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls
  33. Can I swap this job for what’s behind door…?
  34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses
  35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done
  37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money
  39. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being more intelligent
  40. Wait a minute – I’m trying to imagine you with a personality
  41. Aren’t you a black hole of need?
  42. I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?
  43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
  44. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma
  45. If you have something to say raise your hand… then place it over your mouth
  46. I’m too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
  47. Don’t let your mind wander, it’s too small to be let out on its own
  48. Have a nice day, somewhere else
  49. You’re not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away
  50. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of no-one caring.